I’ve always been kinda artsy…

by juliemaida

But I never really decided to “do” anything about it until now. I have always felt like I wanted, (or more accurately), needed to make stuff. Even though I have felt this way since I can remember, and I even went to school for it, I have had so many things that have held me back from creating and truly enjoying it. And by “things”, I mean what actually goes on in my head on a regular basis.

Firstly, I have always felt like I had to create the most perfect things and that whatever I had created was never good enough. I had to make it better in order for me to even consider enjoying my creation or the process. Whatever I had made was just “practice”, and that some day, I would make only awesomely and perfectly wonderful things that I would be awesomely and perfectly proud to display for whoever would want to see. Today, however, I have realized that this is simply not true. It’s not going to happen. I am never going to make anything that is perfect. And you know what? It is okay to create for the sake of creating and enjoy your imperfect result. What a relief.

Secondly, I have always wanted to meet everyone else’s standards (in other words I have placed a lot of value on what other people think). I mean seriously- I have been trying to meet the “standard” that I have created for people that I have imagined that they have created for me. Really, Julie? Not only does that not make any sense, but it is unbelievably exhausting. Today, (apparently today is the day of realizations), I have decided that I really do not care. It isn’t that  I don’t value what other people think, but I can’t control what anyone thinks and I can’t make everyone happy. And it is dumb to base your actions on what someone else might think. And that’s okay. And that is also a huge relief.

So…I will embrace today, and I will embrace the making of the stuff, and I will do it without regard for how it might please or displease other people, and without a goal of perfection. In fact, I will make my only goal to have fun. That’s it. Fun for fun’s sake. What a brilliant idea. Yay for realizations!